


Not So Settled

by dontrunwiththosefxxkers



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Kidnapping, Non-Sexual Bondage, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 12:19:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17001540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontrunwiththosefxxkers/pseuds/dontrunwiththosefxxkers
Summary: Dedede and Ganondorf's battle to see who's the best hits a snag when they're ambushed in the middle of a stock match.





	Not So Settled

“Five stocks, no items, Onett with disabled hazards, winner take all!” The announcer cheered as Ganondorf and Dedede stepped onto the battlefield. The two had been in a quarrel for some time as to if he really qualified as a villain. Ganondorf argued that stealing food and bullying a teenager weren’t exactly hallmarks of pure evil, but Dedede told him about all the times he’d stolen the stars from the sky and conquered Floralia, as well as getting a few zingers in about how Ganondorf’s own evil plans primarily involved bullying teenagers. Wii Fit Trainer’s suggestion for a battle was the only thing keeping them from wrecking the main hub.

 

Ridley and Bowser watched on from the buildings off camera, making bets and cracking remarks whenever one of them managed to bash the other offstage. It had come to a head with both men each at one stock and 50% damage, and Ridley was on the edge of his seat. In fact, he was so engrossed in the battle, he didn’t even notice someone tossing a sticky bomb onto his neck. Bowser gasped quietly, looking around to see who’d done it, and attempted to remove the bomb without popping it.

 

“I still think it’s gonna be Dedede!” Ridley suddenly said, turning to face Bowser. “He could probably swallow Ganondorf whole if he really felt like it!”

 

“Hey, Ganondorf’s been buffed!” Bowser defended. “Don’t count him out yet!” Ridley turned back to the battle and Bowser once more reached for the bomb. When his claw got ever so close to the main explosive, he deiced to change tactics and climb on Ridley to get it off. The space pirate was less than enthused.

 

“What are you doing?” Ridley demanded, jolting up and trying to shake off the Koopa as Bowser tried to pull off the bomb.

 

“Hold still, stupid!” Bowser lost his balance as he pulled on the side of Ridley’s neck, and both screamed and a loud explosion occurred as they fell off the side of their point. Dedede and Ganondorf watched on in secondhand embarrassment.

 

“Imbeciles.” Ganondorf sighed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

 

“Almost makes you wonder if they’re the ones that need to duel it out.” Dedede added on. He raised his hammer to strike the slightly distracted Gerudo, when someone tossed down a smoke ball. Dedede sputtered and jumped back from the colorful explosion. “Hey! I thought you said no items!”

 

“I did say no items!” Ganondorf shouted. “Trying to get me disqualified just proves you’re a coward!”

 

“No! It wasn’t me!” he yelped as more smoke bombs began to fill the arena. While the penguin king was panicking, Ganondorf found the source of the discord. It was a handful of Mii Fighters, dressed in the garb of the Yiga clan.

 

Ganodorf felt a metal collar fasten around his neck, and he immediately spun around to grab the fool who’d dared to attack him and strangle him with Flame Choke. When nothing happened, he came to a sickening conclusion. The collar that the Mii had used, it had to have been a power drainer of some sort! Ganondorf opted that he’d be fine with just choking the Mii out, but a sharp blow to the back of his head knocked the Gerudo out cold.

 

“Thanks a lot, pal!” Ridley complained as he hacked and wheezed ashes. Bowser growled at him as they both pulled themselves back onto their watching spot, but their jaws dropped when they saw that there was no trace of either fighter on the battlefield. All that remained was there was a mask with the Yiga Clan’s symbol on it.

* * *

Ganondorf moaned as he regained consciousness, his head ached, and his arms felt numb. He could still feel the magic nullifying collar around his neck, and moved to rip it off with brute force alone. However, when he tried to lift his arms, he found that he couldn’t. Looking down, he saw that his wrists and arms were tied behind his back to a massive metal stake with thick rope. His ankles, calves, thighs and shoulders were also bound fast. He also noted he’d been gagged, feeling a round foam ball in his mouth and tight tape over his lips.

 

He shouted and strained, digging his feet into the ground and clenching his eyes shut as he tried to break free of his bonds. When this proved fruitless, he growled in rage and slumped against the pole. He then looked out in front of him and saw Dedede attempting to escape as well, gagged with a large cloth over his entire lower face and bound to a metal post with the same thick rope as he, although Dedede’s upper torso was covered in significantly more ropes and his nubbish feet had also been tied together.

 

The two glared at each other as they struggled, both blaming the other for their capture. All of a sudden, the poles holding them were rent asunder. Ganondorf quickly ducked as best as he could out of the way, and Dedede practically screamed behind his gag and flinched. Though their wrists were still bound, they could at least slip their arms over the now bifurcated stake.

 

“Well, well, well,” They both looked up at the sound of Ridley’s voice. “What have we here?”

 

“Gwa-ha-ha! I told you we’d find them if we went towards the center of the forest!” Bowser roared. The captive villains could see that Bowser currently had one of the Mii Fighters in a headlock, and quickly bopped him unconscious. “Turns out that these pipsqueaks have had it out for you guys for weeks!”

 

“Apparently, they wanted to ‘teach you a lesson’ or something equally banal and bleeding-hearted.” Ridley sneered. “But that’s all we got from the main guy, I’m afraid.”

 

“Because you bit his head off.”

 

“He wouldn’t give me a straight answer!” Ridley screeched.

 

Dedede quickly rushed over to the two of him, or at least as fast as he could hop and hobble with his ankles and feet tied together, and quickly made motions and muffled requests for one of them to cut him loose. But Bowser shook his head.

 

“Oh, no. This place is crawling with those little creeps. We’re better to keep you two like this until we get back to the main hub. Don’t want you to just get captured again.” Dedede’s pupils shrunk and he began to squirm and protest, but Bowser just simply lifted him up and tossed him over his shoulder, holding him in a fireman’s carry. “You complain, but Peach hasn’t billed me for a broken heel since 1996!”

 

Ridley took Bowser’s cue and lifted Ganondorf into a bridal carry. Ganondorf wordlessly glared as the two villains started to walk them back home. The space pirate looked down at the Gerudo in his claws and gave a devilish grin. “Well, if you ask me, I’d say it was a tie!”


End file.
